You Are Your Biggest Enemy On The Path to Success

You judge, you criticize and you loathe yourself

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

You are meant to achieve the world — but only if you think you are, first. Why should anyone else believe if you don’t believe in yourself?

Why do you think the self-help industry makes billions each year? People don’t believe enough in themselves — they need a reminder from time to time to get them into action. It’s not that you don’t know how to make best use of your time — of course, you do. You just need a gentle nudge to help you progress towards your goals.

How many times have you heard this cliche“You need to protect your beliefs. You need to believe in yourself.” and go, “Oh, please! I believe in myself and I don’t have any issues in doing what I truly believe in?” But do you, really? Maybe you are confusing self-belief with self-confidence. Or maybe you are you a victim of the impostor syndrome?

We never truly believe ourselves until we do.

Let me explain.

I have been an optimist and ambitious individual who always believed in pursuing my dreams.

But in reality, it took me 2 years to start a blog. It took me several months before I published my first article — all these years and months I spent thinking I am this self-believer and dreamer; I was wrong.

I doubted myself.

‘Should I pursue writing? Should I create my blog?’

‘What if no one reads it, what if people don’t find worth in it?’

‘What about those millions of books and literature that are already published?’

‘Should I check what is already out there?’

There were a billion thoughts and I call these a billion noise that I had to shut down. I was split in my mind if I should really pursue writing. That’s when I started questioning the purpose of my writing.

‘I want to write because I want to express my thoughts and views to others.’

‘I want to write to explore my writing skills and creativity.’

‘I want to connect with other brilliant writers who write with such finesse and ease.’

‘I want to write because that gives me satisfaction.’

There I had my answer — I want to write because I WANT TO.

We never fully believe we can do something spectacular, create something magnificent, make it big in our career, until we do. We are constrained with self-limiting beliefs — one of the simplest ways is to identify the number of times you say this in your conversations — ‘Sorry, I am not good at…” or “I can’t do this, I don’t know…” or “I shouldn’t be doing…” We aren’t the best judge of ourselves, and so most often we underestimate our true potential and our beliefs.

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”

— T. Harv Eker

We constantly doubt the outcome of our choices and are too afraid of going the unknown path. And that leads us to the life of an average Joe going through the daily struggles of life just the way it is doing little to almost nothing to change this.

So how do you strengthen your self-belief?

How do you know you have the potential without doubting your capabilities?

The answer is simple. You will need to recognize that you have been suffering from the imposter syndrome — you think others know more than you do.

Maybe a few successful people at the top of their game do, but a large majority don’t.

They know just as much as you do. They started exactly where you are at the start of their journeys. They are not endowed with any special skills, information or connections.

All that they do better than you is they don’t judge themselves.

They allow enough room for mistakes.

And they never give up.

When you are starting something new — an entrepreneurial venture or a YouTube channel or a new job — you’d always feel the heat of the competition.

You’ll feel like small a fish in the ocean where you have to swim with sharks and dolphins. It is overwhelming, scary and uncertain in the beginning, but as you dive deeper, the ocean becomes calmer — you too would understand the platform better, the fellow creators, and how it all works.

However, it won’t be all sunshine and rosy, there will be times you would want to give up.

That’s when you ask yourself — what was the reason you started in the first place? When you find this purpose, you easily overcome those earlier doubts.

‘So what, if there are a million books already written?’

‘So what, if the platform is already saturated with millions of writers?’

‘So what, if others found success earlier than you do?’

I want to write to grow my writing skills and find my writing voice — these doubts won’t help me in becoming a better writer or exploring my thoughts.

Even worse is the fear where we seek the validation of everything we do from the external world — ‘what if no one finds merit in what you do?’ But here’s the thing — you will never know unless you put your work out there and let people decide.

Do something because that is what you love it. When you are passionate about something, you silence all the external noise — you believe in yourself.

Encounter your worst fears

When you spread those wings and soar high, be prepared to fall. However bad it may sound, it is essential to be trained for the worst, so when something goes wrong, you are not prepared to handle them. It is important you believe you can get out of any failure and gather courage to get back up.

I always play a devil’s advocate and think of all the ways I can fail and when I do, I am prepared to deal with them and every success feels like a surprise, not an entitlement.

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

— Peter T. Mcintyre

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Rethinking Self-Improvement from Mindfulness perspective

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